I know I know, if you are sat reading this and are pregnant with your first child, I don't mean to join in with the misery crowd who say it will be life changing and you have no idea what is coming your way but errrr you don't. Make the most of the quiet before the storm!
|Husband and I at a Halloween event. Prior to parenthood.|
My top ten naive thoughts prior to being a parent
1. People who struggle to go out with a baby and get somewhere on time are disorganised, after all it is just a matter of just slinging a nappy, wipes and some milk for a baby, in a bag!
|My trusty Canine Partner who has seen so many stages of my life, with my lovely husband, pre parenthood.|
2. I will still be the same person I was before having my child, my child will not mean I loose me, we can still go anywhere to visit friends,go on holiday anywhere etc.
|A friend of mine and me on holiday in Holland prior to parenthood although I was pregnant then!|
3.Parents who don't try to look presentable are just lazy, there is always time in a day to do make up and dress well.
|Husband and I at another party we held pre parenthood.|
4.There is no reason for a house to be messy and in caious as when the child is asleep you can do the housework.
5.My child will not be difficult at meal times because I will only allow him to have healthy foods right from weaning and he will therefore love grapes,apples, asparagus,beat root and find delight in eating a carrot!
|Me,husband and some great mates in Holland, I was pregnant then.|
6. I will be able to go shopping with my child without any difficulties.
|Guitar hero to 3am in the morning with a uni friend. Still awake so must have been prior to being a mummy.|
7. My child will not play up as both husband and I will always be on the same page and lay down the same boundaries.
|Husband and I on Holliday with some friends, great if soaking wet times.|
8.My child will always be dressed smartly, no excuses, no matter how lengthy, painful or difficult the dressing a child task is there is no excuse for a child to be any thing less than immaculate and dressed to impress.
|More friends and I after Halloween event but they had all taken outfits on, heck I threw caution to the wind those days and didn't care :D|
9.I will refuse to buy into the idea of purchasing a vast volume of toys, baby equipment and clothes. No child needs more than seven outfits per season, value nappies will be as good as top brands, lots of toys are pointless and brought by parents who would rather make a purchase than give a child time.
|Me looking like I have had loads of sleep, ahhh sleep, obviously before I became a parent.|
10.My child will have a routine and it will be kept to to the second as a good routine makes for a calm child.
|Even Yasmin looks like she got more sleep pre parenthood/super nanny days!|
My answers to these smug statements now I have a child can really all be summed up simply.....
Oh you just wait and see!
My detailed responses would be:
|Our son arrived, old breast feeding clothes thrown on, we have had no sleep but happy.|
1. For some reason getting out to meet someone at a particular time always seems to fall at a time when your child wants a sleep and is grouchy, you couldn't get him to go to sleep a little earlier than usual so he would be in a good mood for going out and now he is kicking off and wanting a nap and refusing to help with proceedings. We pack everything for a day and still there is something missing or more of something required and we just don't have the ability to carry a baby suitcase !
|My son, one week old with his Snowman that he loves now, brought by blurry eyed daddy when stood trying to remember shopping list in Tescos!|
2. You will never be the same person again,when your child is crying with exhaustion and a friend just wants to chat,your child hasn't been changed for a while or needs to go to bed at set times etc, you invariably will never be the laid back, all the time in the world friend you used to be.
|A new little man in our lives, hair errr combed at speed of light, roots massively obvious, no time to put make up on but am feeling so proud! Proud we have made a healthy little boy but also proud I can hold him like a normal mummy.|
|Make up totally abandoned now !|
4. When you have been trying to keep up with a very busy child,doing parenting tasks with restricted movement and pain, you use twice as much energy on the smallest of tasks. Cooking meals, cleaning after meals and cleaning the child, changing childs clothes twice a day,entertaining your son, going to hospital appointments with a small person in toe not enjoying appointments etc. By the time it gets to little ones bedtime you are exhausted and ready for bed. You do not feel like doing a load of housework, a quick piling toys into a small mountain in the living room, wipe down of surfaces and there endeth the day.
|My sister smiling at camera, with my nephew who was a colic baby, she tried to warn me about parenthood, I thought oh yeah yeah big sis, I take my smugness back now big sis ;)|
5. When weaning our son he was given fruit organic pots with baby rice, vegetable meals, fromage fraise, home made spaghetti bolognaise blitzed.In the first few months he ate every thing and any thing. He loved banana, strawberries, every vegetable except sprouts and then suddenly decided he didn't like the texture of banana and would throw it on the floor, hated carrots although enjoyed them earlier on, turns his nose up at toast despite having enjoyed it once. Suddenly, almost over night became a bit choosy ! Every parent sets out to give their child only healthy food, what kind of parent doesn't care about what their child is eating but the reality is more often than not you can sit and demand your child eats something, give them nothing else because some children develop very strong wills and will go for days with almost nothing in their stomachs and become listless. Let's face it any child of my husbands and I was going to have strong will, it is our sheer determination to keep moving through pain that has kept us from being totally wheelchair bound in our lives. If one meal was not up to the little princes standard there will be guaranteed hell to pay for at least four subsequent meals even though he hasn't tried them!
6. Shopping with children is hell. I have no more to say on the matter, if you can have more than a second to look at nail varnish then I am waiting to hear how?
7.I have a good husband and usually we are on the same page but occasionally he will do something that is different to what I would deem acceptable. He likes dressing our son in almost thread bare but easy baby vest because we are not going anywhere ,where as I would like our son to try and keep up appearances and at least wear elasticised waist trousers and t shirt just in case.
|Ahh we took our son to meet some friends at a local restaurant. First trip out, pandemonium but we got there and was lovely to be with friends.|
8. I honestly used to think my son would be mostly in dungerees,matching vest with socks on his feet. More often than not we buy dungarees sets with matching vests and then the vests don't end up with dungarees due to tricky poppers,so easy worn vest goes on, socks due to parents difficulty putting them on and sons ease to remove them, they are abandoned.In winter my son is in a snug fleece zip suit during the day because it is easy to dress him in quickly.
|Meeting some of our good friends. First time we managed to get our son out.|
|A great mate with my lovely boy.|
9. Get ready to purchase, I am careful with this but in times when going out is not an option you need things to entertain a child with, even if you are playing with him or her you need something to play with! Books are great and free from the library but like it or not children love toys and there comes a time where you have to accept you will need to buy them including that plastic junk you swore you wouldn't buy prior to having a child because the plastic junk is what seems to entertain them for hours compared to a brio train set!
|One of a fair number of what I deem plastic junk toys, keeps Mr mischief out of mischief, I am referring to the husband there, gives him something to do with our son hehehe.|
10. Our child has a routine but our life doesn't, hospital appointments out of county means he has to travel with us and traffic means we don't always get home in time for his usual bedtime. When a child reaches 6 months your baby will not sleep when you are out and about and as a result will have their entire routine thrown out the next day which causes a little tension!
My final response to new parents to be would be:
No one could have told me how lovely it is to be a parent and how every day feels like Christmas day where you feel excited to see their smiling face the next morning no matter what the day before was like. No one could have told me how putting my child first would become the most important aspect of my life. No one could have told me that I wouldn't care about career progression,what money we have, what possessions we have, as long as our child is happy and ultimately has a good life with choices that I have not had in my childhood opened to me. When Mark and I are old codgers I hope he will be proud of us and know all our choices from the moment he was born were for the best life for him x