Monday, 27 August 2012

My proudest moment as a mother.

My son aged nineteen months, almost twenty, walked his first four steps unaided yesterday! This has to be my proudest moment not only as a mummy but also as an individual.


Surely my most proud moment was when my son was born you would have thought?!?


As a child growing up with juvenile arthritis you learn lots about medics, hospitals, treatment. You grow up quickly ,making important choices from the age of five about how much medication I felt would be necessary for the day, evaluating the day ahead, predicting what teachers and pupils would ask of me and how much medication that would require without making me sleepy etc. You learn nurses and doctors can make mistakes eg.when the drug trolley came round, I was given the girls tablets who was in the bed opposite me, I had to argue with the nurse as a nine year old on my own for ten minuets! The Sister of the ward confirmed the nurses error! God knows if the girl opposite me had taken my drugs or not,I am not sure her parents had taught her to make choices for herself ! Another occasion was where the registrar miss wrote a prescription for me, instead of 4 mg of methotrexate a day he put me on 40mg and as methotrexate (a chemo drug) was new and under trial the consultant almost passed out at what had happened, fortunately for her and me I had been hiding methotrexate in my PJ case for three months as the two doses I took made me vomit a lot and I had had enough!


Now you will understand when I say that when I was pregnant, scans were not emotional, they were for studying measurements of my son on screen after I had checked I had seen a healthy heart beat. I wasn't looking at my child but checking the scan was done well and my questions answered.One doctor said I could take Tramadol and they would sort the withdrawal effects in my son when he was born, I thought why on earth would I take Tramadol for my selfish pain relief that ultimately could make life tricky for my son in his first few days on earth! Pregnancy was rubbish for me in terms of excitement and romanticism,it was an amalgamation of people who were not sure what to do with me,what to say to two disabled parents, if I would miscarry, how to help my family etc.


Birth was sensible. The doctors realised my s shape spine could not take an epidural and my deformed pelvis could not deal with natural birth so I had a general anaesthetic and a c section. I went to sleep,woke up and there was my baby! I cried with joy seeing him but there ends my experience of pregnancy and birth!


Even with our son safely with my husband and I, the anxiety of our child's health was still foremost in my mind. Had any of my drugs effected him? Would immunisation do what it did to me ,to him? If I gave him the MMR would that trigger his immune system to attack like it did in me? I had my son, loved him but I had to be in medical mode for the good of my child.


So although little man says a hundred words and can count to ten etc my worry of him not walking was getting intense. I was concerned there was something medically up.


So over the last two weeks, with the odd hour from mum every now and them, we would all make Christopher stand up! We turned it into a fun game of stand up ,clap hands ,shout yeay! Christopher enjoyed this and every day for two weeks we have played it and over the last few days I have heard him in his room going yeay and found him standing up. Yesterday at 5.45pm our little man picked those tiny feet up and stumbled four steps across the room! At last I could relax, knowing he is ok, he is better than ok, he is great! He is kind, thoughtful, calm, sensitive, happy and finally I can (in almost certainty) say he is a healthy little boy too.


Yes this was my proudest moment as a mummy.I am determined he will have a childhood and adulthood full of happiness, love, friends and opportunity, he has, touch wood, nothing to stop him achieve any thing he wants in life :)


Little bit wobbly but my son is standing quite a lot on his own with no support and even took a few steps yesterday!


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