Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Goodbye babyhood.

I have just come from bum shuffling on the floor in an attempt to sort out Christopher's clothes, for some reason I felt rather teary doing so, part of it may have been carpet burn! Whilst sorting out a pile of garments for family and friends, a pile of clothes that are great for other disabled parents to use and stuff just bin worthy, I looked at each item and felt rather sad that A) my little man is growing up fast and B) I won't get another chance. I won't have another child and it all seems so ....final. I dont think I am alone in feeling this, surely other women share my feelings?

Me with my son when he was a week old. Ahhh happy days, still time to look to his and our future.

So this is it, bye bye 12-18 month old clothes, hello 18-24 months for a brief moment and then farewell baby stage. For once ,in the total time I have had my son ,I am breaking a rule of my blog and am determined to purchase new , gorgeous outfits and endure ridiculous poppers ,adding an extra ten minuets onto changing my son just because I want to have an outfit in our memory box that isn't a zip sleep suit or Pre worn and worked popper baby clothes. As soon as I am allowed to move a bit with my Volvo boot, I am going shopping!


Since being very young, I have been able to convert negative feelings into positive, I think this is something children with disabilities learn to do very quickly in order to live and enjoy life with what they were given. You rarely see a miserable disabled child! So rather than getting down I think how lucky I am to have had a child at all , I feel so blessed. There are many women out there who are unable to have children whatever the reason.


However, whilst I may feel sad the baby stage is slowly going I am looking hopeful to the future and as my child gets more physically able there will be so much more he and I can enjoy together. Not to mention the more able my son gets the less our joints will be put under dangerous levels of strain.


Being an able bodied or physically disabled parent is a hard road but its an extra winding road when you have mobility restrictions. Parenting is a journey that is rewarding, happy and enjoyable but it takes a determined person to do it. There are no lie ins, no taking time out to pace or rest when you have a little ones needs to attend to, no taking a lot of Tramadol to get over pain because the likelyhood is you need your wits about you and not to feel like you are on an LSD trip! Operations are no longer something you can have every year to patch up, unless it suits the little person and a baby sitter. You can not walk with sticks when trying to push a buggy. Balancing a child on your lap whilst driving a mobility scooter is dangerous,take it from me and I'll say no more on this, just don't do it! Getting around is either via walking ,using the buggy as a walking frame and dealing with the pain when your child goes to bed at night,or drive! You can not be afraid about damage to joints when picking up your child, just do it, the time to worry about getting patched up comes after the child's need has been met. My son fell over and hit his head on a book shelf, I literally threw myself on the floor to check he was ok, my shoulder crunched,son had a cuddle and got on with pulling books down and now roll on mummys shoulder replacement..oops... but it had to be done!


I believe if anyone can master parenthood, disabled or able bodied,and still enjoy life with their child, have time for cuddles and entertaining a child then I believe a black belt in parenting is in order!


Anyone can be a great parent but it is like martial arts, a lot of it is about the power of the mind and sheer will to be the best we can for our children. Isn't this really how life is for every one, parents or not? We can all sit and mope and get down about aspects of our lives but most of us have to re appraise our situation at some stage, adapt and get on. Maybe this is what makes us all human :)




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