Sunday, 16 October 2011
Are we all too over protective ?
Oh dear dear dear, do any other mummies and daddies feel awfully neglectful when ones child hurts itself!?
Christopher is now rolling like a barrel! Rolls to the left, right, diagonally. He doesn't crawl, I think he feels crawling is a mugs game, if he can put minimal effort in for maximum reward he will do, he just rolls every where! I have even tried to get my assistant dog to demonstrate crawling as she can do this,a circus talent of hers. His Daddy occasionally struggles onto the floor and on his tummy to show how to crawl, he looks like a clumsy huge python, bless him, as he can't actually bend his legs up to demonstrate! Nope our son will not crawl, nor will he get himself into a sitting position.
So on the bed he went,same old routine.Did our wrestling act of getting him dressed, I am a step ahead of his game now and I have a key. He is only allowed this when he is getting dressed and it keeps him still for a whole minuet, just enough time to put a new nappy on him! After a 30 min battle he was dressed, we read 4 books which he loves, sang songs and then I could hear the tv blasting and no one watching it. So I put him in the middle of the bed and in the one min it took me to turn the tv off he had rolled and rolled and rolled to the end of the bed and wacked his head on the foot board, oooops. I felt very bad. I was stupid to leave him and should have thought, it takes me longer to do something than it does for him nowadays. Stupid stupid stupid and I'll remember to get my dog sat at the bed side in future to at least create a barrier!
Equally the Psychologist kicked in. I wondered are we all a bit too over protective as parents? I mean really does a child not need to have gentle accidents like that to understand the concept of being careful? Even as a very ill child I had my accidents. I was on my trike when I was about 10, we never went any where in a car, sitting was not allowed so we all would go on a bike ride for about 5 miles. We got to a really steep hill and my siblings went flying down it, mad grins on faces and then could pull the break leaver to stop! My mother and father forgot to hold onto the back of my bike and I forgot my hands couldn't pull a break lever! I lost control! I had the sense to turn the bike into someone's drive so I didn't just go flying down the hill and into a road. The trike went onto one wheel, I nearly fell off and both my parents and I were shaken up but I learnt! I reminded my parents to hold on to my bike, I took responsibility rather than relying on them,I had more confidence to go out on my trike on my own because I had dealt with a situation on my own. If we constantly loom over our children are we not just helping to create adults with problems in the future, who won't be able to cope with trivial stresses or worse still feel frightened by life?
Equally there are 6/7/8 year olds going around primary school and the high street with Iphones, why? What happened to enjoying play with toys like Lego or Sindy Dolls? My little nephew had tea with me last year, aged 7, he and I sat at the table and it was nearing Christmas, I asked him "What would you like Father Christmas to bring you?" , he said "I don't know but I know my friend is getting an iphone for his birthday". I asked my nephew, "if you had the choice between an iphone or a trip to Euro Disney ,which costs the same amount, what would you choose?", he replied, "Don't be silly Aunty Caroline, EuroDisney of course". Apparently not of course to some though cheeky so and so! Then there are children who are brought every thing throughout the year and go every where so when Christmas comes around it is just another day. Again childhood zapped. Disabled parents can not take their children out all the time, they can often not get their children near a shop for months which in some ways is good as they can't get into the "I want" game but equally a bit sad. However when my son is taken to the Zoo, EuroDisney or Alton Towers as a treat surely he at will have appreciation and excitement, he at least will act as a child.
I don't know a lot,I am a first time mother and can only reflect on my own experience so far and stuff I learnt in my first degree but real experience is nothing like the books make it out to be! Maybe when a child gets to 6/7/8 then Lego will be stone age. Maybe Angry Birds on an Iphone will be ancient. Above all I know I want my child to have a childhood, I had one but a lot of it was spent in hospital, on my own stuck in bed on traction for years and being schooled by a private tutor. I want him to be out and play, I won't be able to loom over him,run after him but I'll trust my child to always do the right thing and behave correctly. I know when I can manage to get out with him we will have such a special time together, a real memory for the both of us.