Sunday, 24 March 2013

2 year old update.

It has been a while, I must try to be more regular in my blog posts but frankly with a to year old and two parents with physical disabilities time rarely a friend.


My son is now two! Lets level here, yes he walks on his own so no more lugging him about the house. However he is still too small to independently climb stairs, he can not climb into his child seat yet and he is of course heavier now and almost my height worryingly! I must invest in platform shoes!


Yes he understands the word "no"now so I can control his actions with my voice but in order for toddlers to listen they need not feel got at all the time. I always let small details go, if he sticks his hand in my face cream this is not worth telling him off about, if he comes in with mud everywhere or sticks sticker book stickers on the walls this is a nightmare to clear up, especially in pain but not worth telling him off for. When he is about to start annoying our dog when she is eating then I tell him off, although my dog is a gentle lab she is a dog and it is in their instinct to be possessive over food. If my son is climbing on the sofa he gets told off, he will fall and I can't move quick enough to stop it or pick him up from the floor when he is hurt.

Some aspects have got a lot easier and so much more fun. He can count to eleven, never stops talking, knows his letters and some words. He is perceptive, he brings me things that I drop, he knows I hurt and is so gentle. He is learning French at the moment and his speed at taking in words of objects in two languages is so amazing!


Some aspects are harder but no harder than a well parent has it, you can not leave a child for more than a minuet, they are always up to something. The hard part of disability is the energy every small activity takes from going to the loo, dressing and when you have another little person dependent on you to change him, entertain him etc that is draining. Hence the toy shops and libraries get hit more! I am currently on the hunt for an easy to push and steer trike with a handle. It is between these two models, these are available in the UK, just as usual Americans are more ahead at actually road testing these things. Why oh why do we not have a Top Gear type show for baby equipment in the UK!




We also brought little man a sand pit table. These are great as parents are needed to show child how to play with sand initially, the table we have is one for sand and water. My lovely parents, god bless them, brought me a ground level plastic turtle pit, so kind of them but they forget I am not longer that child that could be lifted down onto the ground, I am a full blown woman! I can not sit down on the floor to play in a ground pit. There are some stunning sand tables but be warned, a two year old has the attention span of an ant! Do not go paying out £70 for a stunning sand table if the reality is your child will only ever play with it for a few weeks. I have plans for my sons table to be my potting table when he gets bored of it! However we only spent £25 on it so it doesn't matter if he doesn't give it a load of time.

Sizzling hot table from Toys R Us
Retails in Toys R Us for £25
Stunning Plum sand table, comes with a wooden matching lid when sand not needed,
Available at retails on there for £75


We are struggling for entertainment ideas, our son still enjoys reading, enjoys letter learning time but he won't tolerate endless books all day like he used to so we have to get more creative and except use or little bit of energy entirely on him and the dog in the day, not worrying about anything else. We do various art activities at the table:


1.Painting using a kitchen pan sponge and kids paints and a large roll of paper from IKEA spread on the table so no need to worry about table! We also have a plastic table cloth so our son can do his worse and it doesn't matter!


2. Mr Maker kits- fantastic things- every thing you need in a mini kit and a make that can be done in a minuet! Great for a two year old attention, with a mother and father with awful hands the make takes ten minuets but we all get there together! Here are some fabulous kits available from John Lewis,Amazon and Hobbycraft.

A massive two year old boys favourite make!
The alien saucer is a little difficult to do up with poor dexterity!
Easiest make for parents with poor dexterity!


We are venturing into the world of direct payments, a sad day for me! I hate needing help from others but I have to start accepting I need help to get out with my son, if I am in charge and effectively an employer I would at least feel I have dignity and choice. I am looking into Play schools as frankly the process of applying for direct payments is slow in the UK! You go through an extensive care needs assessment and then it is put to the finance board etc. Probably by the time they are awarded I will have placed my son in Playschool and he will be getting out enough! Still all avenues need exploring for my sons sakes. A tip for future parents to be, if you think you will need help getting your child out and about then for gods sakes get applying for direct payments now! They take months to approve because understandably the system is in chaos, too many chancers taking money from those of us who really need it, thank god for this new government we have in power sorting the wood from the chaff!


Finally since 2009 I have been needing adaptations on my home, when I was working I was climbing upstairs on my hands and knees because no stair lift had been put in, husband with awful shoulders was having to lift me into the bath as we had no walk in shower, as for getting out we have no ramp and I still need lifting out the house! The ramp has been designed at last, its just a case of some random bods discussing monies to instal it! Yes it has taken 4 years to adapt my house! Not great really especially as this has impacted on my child's life. I have to say there are hundreds of difficulties for healthy parents of disabled children but there are services and clubs, help and inclusion available. To the healthy child of two disabled parents there is no help, little inclusion chances and they are left out. Hence I am fighting for change! When I put my mind to changing social policy it usually happens.


Sorry it has been a while, we really have a lot of surgery on our plate,strong medication, trying to juggle happy normality for our son, we don't want him knowing about our illnesses much, he doesn't need to live our difficulties. He is well, I want him to make everything of his health, he has endless chances, choice and I will do everything to make sure he accesses it!


Will be back soon x

Photo taken by my son!



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