Socks On update

                                                                   

Well the turquoise "socks on" arrived on our doorstep yesterday.

My son has been giving them a real test drive and here are my thoughts.

I brought aged 6-12 moths as he is 8 months. They arrive on little feet card cut outs. it is very obvious how they go on. They look like tiny bits of Lycra fabric with a hole in the middle for the heel, they are available in every colour of the rainbow and then some!

I peeled them off the cardboard and approached my sons feet. I had had the usual day of finding socks lying around his cot every time I went to get him after a nap. I put his socks on him again for the 8th time that day and then slipped the "Socks On" over each sock. I must admit I found them fiddly, you do need a bit of grip to be able to manipulate them over a child's foot. If you have no dexterity then these will not work for you. I tried putting them on with my mouth but they are so tiny you would struggle.

As a mother who can use her fingers and hands to some extent, although my grip, hand movement and strength is quite restricted, I did manage to get these "Socks On", on! I got my husband to also attempt putting them on as he has only a pincer grip in his hands, he has no ability to make a fist and struggles with fiddly buttons, however he has more strength in his hands than I do. He managed to get them on too.

They look lovely, almost a fashion trend. I must admit having worn hand splints and various bandages etc on me as a child I was a little concerned they might look a bit "special" but not at all! They are super lovely.

Finally ladies and gents, the socks stayed on, I have won the battle with my son! My son sat in his Bumbo and pulled and pulled at the sock and got no where. We went out to my sisters house and he went for a walk, no socks were left lying around the roads for once. The socks stayed on all day.

 This has been an excellent product and I shall be buying more colours,they are very cheap wherever you buy them from, the most I have seen them retail for is £5 and you can usually pick up a pair for around £3. They are well worth the fiddle of getting them on if going out. I don't worry about socks if we are not going out, in the winter he'll be in zip fleece sleepsuits with feet already in built but for going out and about in smart wear,"Socks On" get a definite five stars for parents who struggle to pick flying clothing garments off the floor! If you suffer from a bad back please think about saving yourself a lot of pain and effort and get some!

For information on this product visit http://www.sockons.co.uk/index.html
Available from many retailers such as www.kiddicare.com or www.amazon.co.uk


That's all folks for now x

Good morning creaky people

Hope you all slept well, my husband sounds like an old motor car, chugging away, bad chest. One of the joys on being on one of our medications called ANTI tnf or Enbrell is bad chest infections. So he is off to the doctors to stack his body up with steroids and anti biotics. I meanwhile have pill popped for the day, feel super happy and ready to get on!

I have just finished wrestling with my son in order to get him dressed,he is into autumn clothing now which means even more mucking about as there are more layers required. He and I are both off out later for his cousins birthday party which reminds me that I must finish wrapping presents and get Christopher to draw a scribble on some card for a Birthday card. I need to walk my assistant dog otherwise she goes on strike and almost looks at me as if to say "you can forget me picking up his toys for you!". Then I need to discuss having a wall built at the front of our house with a builder who is popping over and complain to IKEA that the kitchen installers left two arthritics with kitchen doors that have been fitted so badly  that we have to try and slam the doors shut, not great for rubbish hands. Life of a busy parent, often disabled parents can't afford to be disabled, just as any parent can't afford to be ill,you just deal with it, get on with it, no matter how mad "it" and life is. I like it that way, better than sitting still feeling fed up or bitter with life, bring life on I say!

Hope these "Socks On" things work because our cheeky little one keeps sliding them off and dispersing them every where! This is fine if we are in the house but not so hot out and about because either my assistant dog is constantly having to pick them up before we even get in a shop or my rather ill husband attempts to and I think he would keel over today if he had any sock picking up activity . I will let you know, they may be the answer to our prayers!
 www.amazon.co.uk

Right my mother is over now, best go discuss plan of action with this front garden and wall, she is helping us buy astro turf for the front garden as we both struggle with lawn mowers, in fact truth be told we can't use one and an electric sheep will just get stolen at the front of the house despite us living in a nice area. I feel a bit sacrilegious putting in my "English Country Garden" Astro Turf! Mind you,if they made great big Lego flowers for outside of houses I would be buying these cos that would look fantastic and just a laugh, there's a thought for you Lego!

High chairs and huge scares!

Oh now this is fun and games. I have to shout out a huge thank you to my local  Mothercare in Gloucester UK www.mothercare.com My husband and I dismantled their lovely shop display and the shop assistants were very happy we did so.

High chairs is a difficult subject to know how to help other disabled parents because there are a wealth of chairs available and all with different mechanisms and all with different heights etc. I have two suggestions and then will go into my personal experiences.

Suggestion number one get on down to the Baby show http://www.thebabyshow.co.uk/ I have blogged about how fantastic this event is in previous posts, I can not recommend it highly enough for disabled and able bodied parents to go and try out every thing baby related!

Second suggestion is get on down to shops, always go to shops first, the internet is a fantastic tool to search for cheaper deals on your chose chair but always try out in real life prior to ordering anything. Trust me we have made huge expensive mistakes on boldly buying something that we haven't looked at or tested out either via the internet or through Argos. Argos is also a fantastic place to get a good deal but only if you know what it is you are getting. www.argos.co.uk

Ok here we go. It took me a good three months to understand all I needed to understand about high chairs. There are chairs that pro port to have a tray that simply folds over your babies head. Either my child is a giant of these trays are made for the offspring of Tinkerbell ! I sat my son in such a chair and the tray just couldn't get past an ant let alone his huuuuuge head! We just didn't understand it because we had read reviews that trays that simply fold up and over were good for disabled parents as clearly the idea is that there are no awkward catches to release the tray, an easy movement and you can get right up to the seat and hence right up to your child. We just couldn't find a chair like this, we went to John lewis, Babies R Us,Mothercare and nowhere seemed to do such a thing. In fact if anyone can suggest to me where such a chair is please let me know and the blog, your help would be so appreciated.

Other high chairs we tested included a "Chicco Happy Sack" model. Out of all the conventional high chairs with plastic white chairs and a gaudy design this one was actually the easiest to use. The tray catch was fairly easy, I still did struggle a bit and worried that my hungry hippo might not be too overwhelmed with mummy taking an age about the feeding process. However I could at least manage the catch. The tray slides off but the difficulty is then there is a bar going across the seat, this bar is static and I just do not have the muscular strength to lift my son up and over this. Really we had to quit on it. If you have the physical arm strength to do so but not great hand movement this might be worth consideration.

Chicco Happy Sack chair from www.mothercare.com

I absolutely loved the "Convertable highchair" in its wood and actually the concept of something for a baby that lasts more than a few months appealed to me, with this chair he could transform it into a separate chair and table when he got older. All worked well, a really good height for a 4ft 11 person as it comes up to waist height when stood up. My difficulty was the harness which my husband could have adapted with various climbing and abseiling hooks from Go Outdoors http://www.gooutdoors.co.uk/ however just as I was about to seal the deal I noticed a lime green travel high chair.

 I love lime green, loved the price, loved the fact the high chair could sit on one of 1960s swivel dinning chairs and hence I could move my son around easily on the chair to a position easy for me to feed him. Most of all I LOVED the easy tray that you rip off and click on, no fiddly catch to push and pull, the harness was a three point harness and hence far easier to manage than a five point harness. Please note many other disabled parents have said that a three point harness is easier and this information is available on the Disabled Parents Network.

Travel Booster seat with steri touch £26.99  http://www.mothercare.com/Travel-Booster-Seat-SteriTouch-Green/dp/B002EJ001Y

Whilst trying the entire stock of high chairs that Mothercare Gloucester had, we decided to sit our son in a Bumbo, I have already raved about these seats, what a fantastic design, sit the child in and he is held snuggly, no fastenings to muck about with. If I am honest this is just a good a high chair, you can by trays for the bumbo and with no fastenings as a disabled parents you can be entirely independent with this seat. There is nothing difficult about it, my only suggestions is to put it on a sofa but supervise every second! Never leave the bumbo up high if you are wondering out of the room. The manufacturer says never to put the Bumbo on a high surface but being a disabled parent you do have to use your noodle and be adaptive and aware of any risks. Bumbo seats are available at Amazon, Ebay and Mothercare, the trays are also available from these sites.

Bumbo baby sitter and play tray from www.amazon.co.uk

When we feel lazy and can not be asked with any harness antics etc we feed our son in the Bumbo but we are trying to get him to sit at the table with us as a family and so we are now motivating ourselves to actually pop him in his lime green travel high chair and he enjoys it. 

Good luck hunting for a chair. I know I ranted about DLA previously but disabled people have DLA for the purchase of equipment a well person would not need to buy due to being "able bodied". DLA is not for living it up in a way an "able bodied" person can't. My poor sister and brother are both graduates, intelligent people and they really struggle to afford things, I'm quite sure my sister would love the most gadgety high chair for her child but she goes with the basic model because she can manage that chair and its what she can afford.

 If buying a high chair creaky peeps, use your money wisely to get what ever chair suits your physical needs. Some chairs are ridiculously expensive but this is what DLA is for especially if it is the only chair your hands can do. If it is a couple of hundred then start saving now, even if you are at the pregnant stage, you will need to save, you absolutely must have a bigger pot of money ready for equipment you will need. My son has basic clothes, he isn't interested in what he is wearing so I make savings on his clothes, he has three jumpers (one smart) for winter, four sleep suits as day wear, three pairs of rather chavvy ,never be seen dead in public, jersey tracksuit bottoms but they are easy to put on him when my husband and I are not well. Two pairs of cord trousers for smart and supermarket vests,long and short sleeve, long for winter nights in his sleep bag, and one supermarket winter coat. That's it and that does! 

Happy shopping people, although I sound like a lecturer I am trying to make this an information service rather than a chit chat. However please enjoy parenthood because they are not babies for long, the fact some of us have managed to get pregnant with all our highly toxic medications etc is a miracle, enjoy it, you and your child deserve the happiest of lives together ! 

Dedicated to parents with an ill child.

I thought  I would blog about my teen and young adult life, I am sat beside by baby  boy and I can not imagine the pain and worry that must exist in parents of any ill child. However I can offer how my parents delt with having a physically ill child and three exceptionally healthy other children.

When I was a young child, at primary school, I was very popular. I think because I was happily doing what other girls in my class could do, playing with Sindy dolls, looking at my array of wind up pencil sharpeners walk around the class room. My parents always promoted normality, even if I was very ill, I always went to school! They would hold big birthday parties for all of us, mine were planned to the Nth degree as to what games we could all play, a great game for arthritic children is Musical Statues, something arthritic children are very apt at is freezing on the spot! My parents always encouraged all of us to invite friends over for tea because they always felt those children that never had others over for tea were always the ones left out when it came to invites for them. I was forever going over to other friends homes for tea and they to our house.

I was only ever around other arthritic children when I spent time in hospital, I must admit I found many of the children were a bit wrapped in cotton wool and constantly crying, neither of which I was. I did meet one of my dearest friends on ward. She now works for the UN as a multi ligual interpretor. I am so proud of her, her parents are exceptionally proud but boy I bet they were anxious every time she decided to take herself of to a Third world African country to volunteer during her holidays! She even had to go to British Embassys to get her medication!

She and I were a rather naughty combination on the ward, I point the finger of blame at her hehe. She would wake me at night when our parents had gone back to their rooms. I had learnt to undo all my leg splints and hand splints as I had had arthritis for a lot more years than she did. So she would ask me to come over and help her get her leg splints off, I did so thinking she was a bigger girl and must know what she was doing (I think we are only a year apart!). I then crept back to my bed and put my splints back on badly. The nurses cottoned on to what we were up to by the various piles of splints either removed deliberately or because they had fallen off! We ended up with good behaviour charts! Outrageous! I had never stepped out of line with my parents, school and never had behaviour charts! She was the only friend I had who understood, who we could joke about moving slowly with one another etc. She still is  the only one friend I know who really understands apart from my husband. My parents have a parental view of me, they don't want me to push myself too much, even now with my son they ask "Why do you want to be doing more than being a mother?", they mean well, they are scared I will pull myself into hospital again but I have a brain and I have a desire to help others, I can't just sit playing and reading with my son all day without anything else, my mother couldn't just sit around and I learnt well from her.

In my early teens I found life difficult. I was huge because of steroid treatment, I must have been a size 16, couldn't walk, callipers all over my legs. I felt I looked different, I felt embarrassed of myself and I longed for new knees so I could get rid of the callipers and start walking and not being dependant on anyone to get around and even onto the toilet. I continued mainstream education at all times. When in hospital,all the other children I spent time with on the ward, got fluffy toys and pretty presents, I got Lets revise Biology, Maths and English guides!  Around this time my brothers and sister were my real friends. I would spend hours playing with them and I still am so glad I was one of four.The only aspect of my siblings that I find hard to deal with today, is they were shielded a lot from my illness. I don't think they really understood some aspects of being a bit wonky. My mother has to make me dresses because I am 4ft 11 and have a very curved spine, I can't find dresses or tops that do not show that off. She makes dresses that hang from the shoulders and have an empire line which hides my curve and so I look like a normal, petite woman. My sister goes bonkers when I get dresses made for me, she wants some made for her, I can see things from her point of view completely and it is almost cruel on her that she doesn't understand why these things are done for me and not her.I think my parents were right to not bombard my siblings with tales of difference,illness that might have scared them. Both my mother and father tried hard to set up a normal family life where we all just got on and didn't dwell on hospital visits,my parents never spoke of my visits in front of my brothers and sister. The poor people had to drive hours and hours to get the specialist treatment for me, they did a seven hour round trip in a day and still took every one to the park the next day! I can see that when normality is so important when someone is ill in the family, I would never do any thing different to my mother and father, I think parents of an ill child have some super human inner strength, they go to the ends of the earth for every member of their child, drive miles and miles, watch their ill child go through painful treatment and still manage to laugh and love every one.

 I ended up doing my A-levels a year early. This was not great as a child, a great thing for parents to feel proud off, awful as the baby of the group and add on top of that my size, my wheelchair ..oh god! I would listen to my fellow students reg ail their clubbing antics on a Monday morning, where you could buy great make up and I felt different. I still had friends but they were always the slightly odd ones. I guess these students befriended me because they felt socially different etc and actually I found them hard work at times as I pride myself on being good socially. Finally I got replaced knees. That day was like the day when you pass your driving test,graduate or get engaged. I was so happy. I underwent an 8 hour operation as they did both knees to save me hassle or more time of school, I think it would have been a 6 hour op but the surgeons decided they needed a good lunch break,can't blame them though! The rehabilitation was hard, I hadn't walked for years and I spent days between parallel bars and Physios motivating me like a parent does when their child is taking their first steps. I spent months in hospital trying to get muscles back, eventually I took some steps on walking sticks, I felt very proud. My father, a very kindly man, was the only one who shouted at me to try and walk without the sticks. I threw them away angry at my father, you know what I walked, still think he was rude though! I walked, walked and walked, I was so excited. My life was changing! I shed all my weight and went to a size 8. I met friends who went out! I could talk about make up they had in "Boots" because for the first time in my life I could take myself of around there. I booked tickets to see "Wet Wet Wet" and we got into the disabled area at the front of the stadium and I stood most of the time and danced.I learnt to drive and gosh did that open doors to me. Around 17 I went into remission, Juvenile arthritis does that, it can disappear as quickly as it came and no one really knows why.

I will leave it at that for now,I don't want to make blogs too lengthy. I will be adding more about growing up with arthritis- The Uni years etc later. I am starting to hear "The Wonder Years" music playing, what a fab series that was about growing up.

 I can not imagine what my parents went through, the inner strength they have stuns me. I can not even pretend to understand what they felt, or how any other parent with an ill child feels, I can not imagine how horrendous it must be for those with terminally ill children.

All those parents who spend years taking their child in and out of hospital and still hold it together for their other children and still manage to laugh and love and try to have "normal days", I just want to say on behalf of all of us "ill children" we do appreciate it, even as a very young child you are aware of how your parents are feeling.I was more worried for my mother when I was 7 and having my first operation than I was about me. I remember I kept checking to see if she looked worried,fortunately my mother is a tough lady and we just got on and smiled, played board games together and passed the time away happily, I appreciate that inside she maybe wasn't feeling so tough but she didn't portray that to me and actually that made me feel safe and strong too. To all parents and all children, young adults or even older adults like me in their 30s keep smiling, keep being strong and good times do come, they honestly do.

Socks staying on!

                                                    

Really quick post, it's our wedding anniversary today so don't want to unromantically blogging when the atmosphere should be romantic!

Its getting cold, our son constantly pulls off socks and hence either my assistant dog is on overtime picking up after him, or there are several of his socks strewn around various streets that we decided not to struggle in reclaiming! Its what babies do best. Your options are either:

1. buy a load and I mean loads, of basics or value baby socks from supermarkets and laugh when he or she chucks one on the floor when out and about and you can't bend down to get it.

2. uy clothes like leggings with feet built in and fleece zip sleep-suits,which I tend to do and have already mentioned previously in the blog.

3.Try "Socks On", See the picture above, which is my most recent trial purchase! I have just brought some brand new from e-bay because if my hands or the husbands hands can't manage the elastic in them then they will be in the bin! Loads of retailers do them such as Amazon or Firebox.com. I will hopefully get these soon and I shall let you know how I get on.

 
I am determined to win the war against babies pulling off their socks!

Cheers guys x

Sleep sacs v blankets

                                                              

I know,I know!  I am putting off blogging about buggies, cots and car seats. I have a load to write on these areas but each item requires a lot of consideration,discussion etc. Choosing a cot with a bad back, short arms, no arms, arthritic arms etc is not a simple "Go out and get this brand" so bear with me, when my son gives me a straight two hours I will tackle these areas.

Today is a short blog on sleeping bags for baby versus cot blankets.

Sleeping bags are sold as a replacement to blankets,top sheets etc. They keep a baby covered up so there is no kicking off covers and thus keeping your baby at a constant temperature. The sleeping bags are fastened around the baby in such a way that the child is not going to suddenly slip under their cover, this can happen with cot blankets. You also do not need cot bumpers with the bags as they are sold as keeping your child's legs safely inside the bag and not flaying freely to get stuck between cot bars.

There are 2 tog ratings on these sleeping sacks, 2.5tog is more for a winter room, then there is a summer tog at 1.0 tog. You do need two sleep sacs really as you will need one for winter and one for hotter days.

With blankets you can layer up depending on the weather, there are loads of lovely designs with matching bumpers and nursery decor around.There are no zips on blankets which may make life easier for some, although if you have no or little reach trying to get a blanket to lie across your child can be tricky. Equally with a sleep bag you have to be able to manipulate your child into the sack where as with blankets you just need to lug your child to its cot and pop blankets over him.

The baby will likely need cot bumpers if you go with the blanket option,especially if they wiggle a lot because they can end up getting their legs or arms stuck through the bars. I feel a little scared about blankets being pulled up onto the babies face but that is maybe me being over worried. Also babies can not regulate their temperature so if they kick of their blankets they may wake up and need re covering, this is not an issue with a sleeping bag as it stays put.

A word of warning,some sleep sacs have poppers, avoid these like the plague if you have limited dexterity or strength in fingers! Different bags have different size zips or zips in different places on the sack so look around and try them out. Remember you can post a strip of ribbon through the hole in the zip to make an easier target area for your hands or mouth. I would personally recommend bags with a central zip and no poppers on the shoulders, for example the IKEA bag as seen above. There are lovely Hungry Catterpillar bags in Sainsburys, I so wish I didn't struggle with poppers because they are lovely but the difficulties are that the zip is on the side of the bag which makes putting my son in it even more difficult and requires even more lugging him around,where as a central zip I can open the bag, pull it wide open and stick him in the middle then pop his arms easily through the holes. Still however boring his sleep bags may be they are practical and he still chucks milk all over them or dribble!

TKMAX is fab for sleeping bags,go and check them out, they have a big variety to choose from. I actually brought a lovely winter one today which is dark blue velvet with big robots all over it and a central zip. I am sure my son will model it for you soon.

One final thing, I have brought an absolutely lovely and really well made bag from slumber sac, my only difficulty with it is that you pop the baby in and then have to try and join the zip up from the top of the bag like you would join the zip on a coat, this is really fiddly and difficult when your baby is thrashing about! I since have realized I need to look for a bag where the zip starts at the bottom and pulls simply up as there is no joining of the zip required.  A tip for buying a bag online, the ones with a central zip that pulls bottom tend to have a little bar of fabric go across the top, see picture below. This bar is closed via a popper but we just leave it open.

Check out this mad design bellow, you can get less crazy looking bags but it is cute! I have chosen this image as it highlights a sack that I suspect zips from bottom up.


Side zip bag example:



Gorgeous slumber sac bag which we liked so much we struggled with the top down zip for a good few months:



My one standing theme throughout this blog is if you are a parent with a bad back, limited strength or limb movement etc then always go and try out every thing to do with babies. I know it is time consuming, embarrassing and bewildering but I am trying to at least let you know what is available and it is always up to you as a parent to go and try. I feel like a university lecturer, I have only just began!

The joys of being a parent, out goes worrying about cosmetics, hair and fashion, in comes worrying about EVERYTHING to do with your child :o)

Hospital appointments,surgery and Baby groups

                                                     

I feel so sorry for my son, we have had hospital appointments for nearly a week between my doctors and my husbands doctors. I can not believe how good Christopher is, he never gets upset in waiting rooms, he sits there with a smile on his face, babbling away and chewing his pram book. I feel sad for him at times because he just shouldn't be having to do this, it is not a life style I want for him. However I know that  because he has ill parents we have a lot of time and patience for him. We don't cram a zillion highly entertaining, high energy events into one day and so he is a calm child. We laugh and sing, read and play nearly every time he gets up.Anything we do do when we go out involves being calm and doing something simple, things like feeding ducks,going to the library or an incredibly slow walk through the park, in fact that reminds me, he got a leaf of a tree and tried to munch it, so I am going to laminate it for him, pop it in his diary.

I have to go and get my knees re replaced as I got them first done when I was 16 and they are giving up life now I am 34. I can't get them done locally as no surgeon will touch me as I am a "Specialist case". So I have to keep going to London. I get upset about this. I don't want to leave my family and travel miles away to have this operation. I worry for both my husband because he is ill and our son because he needs mummy. My hubby will say himself that I am better at socializing with our child. Daddy is a fantastic Daddy but he'll play every toy with our son and then wonder what to do next. I am trying to teach Christopher to read by using flash cards, all the books say you must be able to sustain this every day so now I have to give my husband a crash course in doing it. I don't want my husband to do it! I can only ever have one child because of the toll it took on my joints in pregnancy and the immune system attack after birth etc and anyway, I want to do it! I guess all I can do is talk to my surgeon who I have grown up with and who works around me and see what we can come up with. I might skimp and save so that for the first week I can get my husband and son into a Holiday Inn near by so I can at least spend time with them and maybe ask doctors to transfer me to our local hospital for the months of rehab I will need. It will be "basics" beans on toast for us on the run up to the surgery day!

Ok Baby groups:

 I know there are a thousand different Mother and baby groups,the concept of which, in my opinion, needs modernization. Its 2011, organisations and parents of a group, need to be encouraging fathers to come along! Society has somewhat changed and now there are many women finding themselves having to return to work as they are the higher earners within a household.  I could try taking my child out to "Bounce and Rhyme" again but I find these groups so cliche and I know now that this is nothing to do with being an ill parent but actually what many "well" women and men feel according to other parents blogs I have read. I watched a few fathers who braved "Bounce and Rhyme" sit on the floor and be completely ignored by the gaggle of women. This is downright poor, parents should have a more amenable attitude,what on earth do these people think they are teaching their child! I decided I would speak to one of the chaps there and he was really interesting, joyous about being with his child and talking of his plan of action for the day. I think he was glad someone spoke to him, I felt sorry for this chap because since my last, rather unkind, experience at this place, I voted with my feet and left the group! So groups exist and I think I might go and try one out again and I dare anyone to say anything rude to me because I may have been shot down once,now I am pre warned on Jurassic peoples ideals and I will be ready to educate!  

Bounce and Rhyme is a fantastic group ran by most libraries near you, it is easy to do as you just sit with your baby on your lap, chairs are provided so you don't need to worry that you'll turn up looking the odd one out on a chair. You sing some lovely nursery rhymes and shake a few musical toys. I would not recommend you struggle out though until your child is around 6 months. Its a waste of time, the child is not cognitively aware for your struggle to have been worth it. Christopher just wondered what the heck was going on when we went and he was 4 months old. If you have a group of dinosaurs at a particular library then like me vote with your feet and find a different library. I shall let you know how I get on!

I know that groups are not just for babies but for mummies and daddies to get to know other parents. We feel very isolated as disabled parents, sure we have great friends but non of them have children and have no idea of the work involved in parenting a child or getting our son ready to go out with them all. A midwife did suggest I went to a pre pregnancy breastfeeding group, waived a leaflet under my nose but that isn't good enough! There needs to be reassurance that you won't be made to look different because you can't sit on the floor with all the other parents, are there stairs into the building, how about parking facilities? There needs to be more selling groups to all genders and all abilities and all ages. Organizers of groups need to accommodate all without making a song and dance of making "special arrangements for the special person".

P.S when Christopher gets older, he will be attending playschool as I feel this is important for his pre school adjustment. I have my caring hat on now. Through learnt experience and listening to my sister and mother I have this to say. You have to remember in the 40s, 50s, 60s there were not all these groups for entertaining babies, there is a huge pressure that you should attend such gatherings and there are some fantastic groups out there that I expect are inclusive of all parents, I've just yet to find one. My friends parents and my mother never took us to anything but Playschool and we are all very good socially and academically, so don't feel the pressure! My sister took her son to EVERYTHING, she ended up absolutely exhausted,no energy to do anything that needed doing at home and her son got very little out of going,in fact he became difficult to entertain at home because he needed a higher level of provided fun than his mum could provide. I recently asked her what groups would she join with her next child? She quickly replied "NONE!",this was a pretty clear message and it has helped me feel confident in the choices I have made so far.